Getting To Know You

My mother, who of course reads this blog (that is what mothers are for no?), told me that there is nothing personal in it. I think she came expecting pictures and antidotes of my life. Which is the type of blog she is used to reading. For me this blog is not about sharing or over-sharing about me; it is about sharing ideas and concepts that I find interesting.

That being said let me get a bit personal.

I have been with Harold for the last four years. We met at an auto auction and it was love at first sight. It has been a mutually beneficial relationship. Harry takes care of me and I take care of him. However for the last 8 months things have fallen apart. Harry needs more attention. He baffles me with his mood swings and temperamental-ness. I realized that despite the time together I do not know much about how he works. So I talked to some guy friends and last night we popped the hood and I finally really got to know Harry.

Harold is of course my 2001 Jeep Cherokee. You may laugh but, besides family, Harry has been my one constant in a period of vast change and learning. He is important to me. Yet despite that I know very little about how he works and what he needs to stay "happy". I have been content to ride along, not asking questions until a serious issue came up.

Now I know he is inanimate object that his anthropomorphism is all in my head. But I can't help but parallel how little I know about Harry with how little I tend to know about my friends. While I am all about creating deep and meaningful friendships, often to my torment, I don't often have them. I think that is because I never look under the hood.

I don't like to pry.

"Why did your parents get divorced?"

"Why don't you attend church anymore?"

"Why do you dislike that guy?"

Those are questions I would never ask. I let people tell me things on their own. If they don't tell me then I assume they don't want me to know. This probably looks like I am not concerned or curious about them. I see it as respecting their privacy. But this has resulted in me rooming with someone or being friends with them for years and never really learning about what makes them run.

Now I never thought this was a bad thing. But recently a good friend of mine, that I have known for over a year, completely surprised me. To the point that I wonder if I really understand this person. If I even want to maintain our close friendship. I have been surprised by friends before but this one really hit me different.

Maybe I need to change my behavior. Maybe before I get so emotionally invested in a person I should learn more about their personality. Their past, their dreams, their family life. Because I now feel faced with an emotionally frustrating decision.

But then would I start limiting myself to only certain types of people and therefore miss out on some of the wonderful and varied friendships I have?

I don't know the answer. But I wished I did.